Better than Disney World's Cheeseburger Eggrolls "Recipe"

I'm not going to write some long preamble other than to briefly explain what the heck these things are and why they re so good. Walt Disney World has a spring roll cart in Magic Kingdom's Adventureland which operates sporadically. They offer unique spring rolls, including pizza and macaroni and cheese varieties. The most popular is probably the cheeseburger one. It's described as having a McDonald's cheeseburger flavor in a crispy casing. That right there basically explains why it's so good. It's really moist and juicy like a burger should be, but the fried egg roll wrapper gives it a satisfying crunch that you just can't get from a cheeseburger bun. Here's how to make them, but better:

Ingredients:

1. 1 lb ground beef

2. Egg Roll Wrappers (one package from the store contains about 15 wrappers)

3. 1/3 of a large onion

4. 1/3 cup Dill Pickle Relish (or chopped dill pickles, whatever you have)

5. 12 or so oz Velveeta Cheese

6. 1/2 cup Shredded Cheddar cheese

7. 1/2 cup Mayo

8. 1/4 cup Ketchup

9. 3 TBS Mustard

10. Several TBS Worcestershire sauce (to your preference)

11. Garlic powder (to your preference)

12. Salt and Pepper (if needed)

13. Vegetable or some other frying oil.

Steps:

1. Cook your ground beef with the onions, garlic powder, and some Worcestershire sauce. (The good thing is that you don't need to know how to spell it or pronounce it to cook with it.) Drain off as much grease as you can or want to.

2. In a big bowl, mix your cooked ground beef with the dill pickle relish, the Velveeta and the shredded cheddar. (The Velveeta will melt and make it kind of creamy). Then add in the condiments (Mayo, Ketchup and Mustard) slowly until you get a sort of paste-like consistency. Taste it now to see if you need more Worcestershire sauce or garlic powder or salt or whatever. It should taste like a mashed up McDonald's cheeseburger and look vaguely like wet cat food. (But it's fine)

3. Put about 3 TBS of this meat mixture into an Eggroll wrapper. Then wet the edges of the wrapper with a wet finger and seal it closed. To do so, you fold two opposite corners toward the middle, then the bottom corner toward the middle, and finally roll it upward into a cylinder type shape, like a fat meat envelope.

4. Fry them! I think you want the oil heated to like 375 or so. You can do this in a pan on the stove top or in a deep fryer, like what I have. The total time to fry is about 7 or 8 minutes. They will be done once they're golden brown and crispy.

Let them rest for a minute before biting into them because these will burn the roof of your mouth like crazy. Or just dive in and have scar tissue in your mouth for like a week; it's really up to you. I like to serve these with a Mayo, Ketchup, Mustard Dill Pickle Relish mixture, but you can eat them with ketchup or whatever you like. They're good plain too.

Question: Can I add bacon?

Answer: Yes, but it's not really necessary and probably won't add much to the experience.

Question: Where do I get the eggroll wrappers?

Answers: Walmart or really any grocery store. They are refrigerated and are usually with like health food products, for some reason.

Question: Can I freeze these?

Answer: Yes. They reheat fairly well in the toaster oven.

Question: Serving size?

Answer: 2 or 3 Eggrolls (so can serve 5-8 people, depending on appetite)

Question: Did you make up the measurements?

Answer: Yes. I think that it should be fairly accurate, but whenever I make these I eyeball everything. So follow this recipe at your own risk.