The Dangers of Taking More Time for Yourself

We're well into 2021 at this point, but I still think of this as a "new year." I probably don't stop accidentally writing "2020" on forms until at least July, so for me it's still time to be thinking and reflecting on my New Year's Resolutions.

A lot of people made a goal to start putting themselves first, taking more time for themselves, to stop trying to "pour from an empty cup." I can understand this desire in some ways. If you are constantly exhausted from helping people and serving others, it can take a major toll on your attitude and ultimately damage those relationships. However, I don't think the solution is to put yourself first or spend more time in self-reflection.

Honestly, if you are feeling down on yourself, the worst thing that you can do is try to put yourself first or spend more time in self-reflection. All that does is give you more time alone with your negative thoughts. You have to be able to function and so some "me time" is necessary. You have to sleep, eat, shower, and have some fun from time to time. But you should think of these things as tools for ensuring your future service to others, rather than a means to bolster your opinion and feelings toward yourself.

The best I have ever felt about myself wasn't in times where I was able to pamper myself. It was in times when I was sweaty, dirty, and tired from helping others. When you go on a mission trip or volunteer at your local food pantry or whatever, you are living the best version of yourself. Even if you are exhausted afterward, you will feel a sense of accomplishment. And you will have spent several hours thinking about someone other than yourself. Serving others is the key to a positive self-image and a sense of purpose.

You don't have to be productive to be a worthwhile person. However, if all you ever think about is yourself, then you'll have no choice but to spend a lot of time dwelling on your mistakes and things you hate about yourself too. It's counterproductive.

Get out of your own head. Quit obsessing over your body image, your self-worth, your self-esteem, your daily affirmations. All these things do is keep YOU at the center, good, bad, and ugly. Believe it or not, most people really don't have a problem with "loving themselves," their problem is actually loving themselves too much. If you didn't love yourself, you wouldn't be so upset with your own personal failings. You wouldn't feel the need to buy yourself clothes and feed yourself the tastiest food. You wouldn't bother with trying weight loss. Take a step back; stop looking so much at the man in the mirror. Learn to just live with yourself instead of constantly battling with your sense of identity. I'm sure you'll find you are much more at peace with yourself if you do.